Cankles, Heartburn, and Bedrest :)

Posted under Family, Thoughts by coryelvidge

So I know I have taken a hiatus from blogging for the last couple months. A lot has been going on. Just this last week I started “thinking” about blogging again and almost instantly raised the back of my hand to my forehead in a dramatic attempt to tell myself that it is just too overwhelming to create a post that accurately details our absence, so I’m not going to lol. Instead I’ll just start current and let you all know how a little thing called “pregnancy” is going. I’ll start by telling you that I have always wanted lots of kids. 4… 5… maybe even a crazy 6th. I loved being part of a big family growing up. Always having someone to hang out with and holidays being a blast. However, about a month ago while spending a good hour trying to get into a comfortable position, through tears and a clenched jaw I growled at Jared, “ONE… we should’ve stopped at ONE!” Of course I was not being serious but that should let you know how this post is going to end up lol.

This pregnancy has been almost unbearable for me. My pelvis is separated, my pubic bone is dislocated, I am swelling like a baby whale and gaining an obscene amount of weight even though I am hardly eating. (Seriously… I look like I have rhinoceros blood in me.) I have major TMJ (locked jaw) from all the baby hormones, causing my jaw to remain clamped shut every morning when I get out of bed and then causing a lot of pain every time that I chew. I have been getting very regular, excruciating charley horses in my inner thighs, and insane round ligament pain on both sides of my uterus that is more intense than anything I’ve ever felt before. The baby is measuring 39 weeks even though I am only 35. They can’t figure out what the heck is going on lol.

I’ve been seeing a wonderful chiropractor 3 times a week for several weeks now trying to relieve some of this pain and get my pelvis back in place before delivery. However, after numerous valiant efforts, I have burned wrinkles into his forehead, leaving him also baffled. He cannot budge my pelvis, pubic bone, or sacrum. They will not move…. period. I also feel an intense “pulling” sensation every time I stand up and it gets me instantly lightheaded and short of breath. They have tested me for every possible condition (preeclampsia, toxemia, liver infection, kidney infection, gestational diabetes bla bla bla) and I have been negative for all of them. As far as the tests show, I am normal lol. It is confusing them.

I went into hardcore labor two weeks ago which lasted an entire night and half of the next day. They examined me and said that my poor body was literally suffering from extreme exhaustion and dehydration and that is what brought on labor. I was ordered to bed rest, which Sammy will not allow me to do, so instead I call it “couch rest” , and told to drink gallons of water lol. I am currently in so much pain though that it isn’t hard to stay put. It is so incredibly difficult though. If you’ve never experienced bedrest, imagine being tied to your couch or bed. You’re thirsty but can’t get up to quick grab a glass of water. You notice a layer of dust on your dresser but can’t quick wipe it clean. Your baby comes waddling up to you with outstretched hands and a big grin, wanting you to pick him up and doesn’t understand when you won’t. Your husband tries to be a trooper and pick up some of your responsibilities in addition to his own but can’t do it all and frequently gets irritated by the stress of it all. You’ve never watched “mess” accumulate so quickly in your home without you able to do a thing about it. You are having a baby in less than a month and cannot prepare anything for the event. No baby clothes washed, no nursery readied, no crib assembled, no diapers put away. You simply cannot realize how much you do in any given day, until you can no longer do it and on top of everything, your entire body literally starts aching when you are confined to one spot for so long. So I am pretty much out of commission until after this baby comes and maybe for longer, depending on how long it takes my pelvis to recover.

I have so many appreciated offers for help. My ward, 2 or 3 family members, and a couple close friends have been my saving grace! I feel very blessed to have them. I have very kind neighbors whose generosity never ceases to amaze me. They have just started bringing us dinner 3 times a week (Monday, Wednesday, and Friday) and stopping by every once in a while to give Sammy someone to play with during the day. I couldn’t be more grateful!! My sister came up the other night to clean my house for me and I wanted to cry I was so appreciative lol. I also have a couple friends and inlaws who have continuously offered their shopping services to me, which means so much. I have found that the hard part is taking people up on their offers . It is so uncomfortable to immediately jump in with a task that you really need done in response to a polite offer to help. It catches people off guard lol. It is even more humiliating though to call someone up on their casual offer to help from 2 weeks ago. You just have to pray that they were sincere when they mentioned it and not care about losing all your dignity lol. But seriously, someone asks me what they can do for me and I go blank. What do I say?? I can’t say, “YES! Thank you!! Could you go clean my bathroom?” or “I’m so glad you asked! Could you go fertilize my yard?” “How bout doing my dishes, going through my mail piles, dusting my furniture, sanitizing my toilets and doorknobs, pulling the weeds in my yard, cutting back the grass that is going to undoubtedly take over my flower beds, caulking and painting the new doors we have on our nursery, getting out all my baby stuff and washing it, moving an entire bedroom from one room to the other to make room for the baby, installing the infant car seat base in my car, feeding Sammy 3 meals a day, feeding my husband 3 meals a day lol, getting my mail, taking out my trash, etc. etc. etc. The list never ends.” You can’t ask people to do those things. They would hate you lol. It is pure insanity to not be able to do your normal daily tasks.

We have been planning another home birth but in light of my pelvic trauma, I talked to my old OB doctor and asked about the possible option of having a c-section. I am scared that if I am in this much pain while I am stationary, labor and birth will cause permanent damage and possible shock.  But I was told by the doctor that it isn’t an option unless there is some reason why my pelvis WON’T allow a baby to come through it. Pain is not a reason because they can medicate. However, I don’t want to deliver in a hospital, just to be medicated (meaning I’d have to deliver on my back… meaning I would most likely break my tailbone again) during labor, only to experience months of tailbone recovery with two little ones to care for. So I can “come in” and have a doctor look at my pelvis but I don’t know if I can arrange that with me being unable to move lol. And to be honest, I don’t have high hopes that it will pan out to anything because the whole reason that I am in pain is because my pelvis is separated, leaving ample room for the baby to move through it. We’ll see. Grrr I want to have my cake and eat it too please. I want to have an easy pregnancy, painfree labor, not break my tailbone, and be immediately ready to function after the baby is born. Is that too much to ask?

Pregnancy. It is just destructive isn’t it?? My only hope is that is will all end well and when I hold my sweet new little one, this 9 month long nightmare I have been living will just be a faint, fuzzy memory of the past… It helps to look at the pictures of our little guy, like this one, that were taken by ultrasound several weeks ago. During that ultrasound, I couldn’t help but cry as I watched him, all curled up, in amazing detail (we did a 4-d ultrasound). It was like he was here already. I watched him suck his thumb, yawn, and hiccup, right there in front of me. That amazing hour long video of my baby tugged at all of my motherly heart strings and made me forget, temporarily, how miserable is has been to get him to this point lol.

So there u have it! I’ve gotten several scoldings from family members who have just recently learned that I am on bedrest and are upset that they weren’t informed at the start, but all of this isn’t exactly the kind of thing that you just call people randomly to share lol. So I’m sorry. This is my way of making amends. Now you are all up to-date. Lots of love, Cor xo